sábado, 28 de fevereiro de 2015

sexta-feira, 27 de fevereiro de 2015

The Mating Call

The Mating Call

 Two Indians and an  Irishman were walking through the  woods.
All  of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth  of a small cave.
'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' he  called into the cave and listened closely until he  heard an answering,
'Wooooo! Wooooo!  Woooooo!
He  then tore off his clothes and ran into the  cave.
The Irishman was puzzled and asked the  remaining Indian what it was all about.
'Was the  other Indian crazy or what?'
The Indian replied  'No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian  men see cave, they holler
'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!'  into the opening.. If they get an answer back, it  means there's a beautiful  squaw in there waiting for  us.
Just then they came upon another  cave.
The  second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and  hollered, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!'  
Immediately,  there was the answer.
'Wooooo!  Wooooo! Wooooo!' from deep inside.
He also tore off  his clothes and ran into the opening.
The Irishman  wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and  then spied a third large cave.
As he looked in  amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was  thinking, 'Hoo, man! Look at the size  of this cave! It  is bigger than those the Indians found.  There must be  some really big, fine women in this cave!'
He stood  in front of the opening and hollered with all his  might
'Wooooo!  Wooooo! Wooooo!'
Like the others, he then heard an  answering call, 'WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO  WOOOOOOOOO!'
With  a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced  into the cave,tearing off his clothes as he  ran.
The  following day, the headline of the local newspaper  read................
You'll  like this














NAKED IRISHMAN  RUN OVER BY  TRAIN!




Source/Fonte: Received by email
Image/Imagem: Google Images
Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)


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quinta-feira, 26 de fevereiro de 2015

The Stutterer



A guy walks into the doctor's office and says, "D d d doc, I've bbeen
stttutering ffor yyyears and IIII'm tttired of it. Cccan yyyou hehehelp
mmme?"

The doctor says, "Well, I'll have to examine you to see what's going on."

So he examines him and says, "Well I think I know what the problem is.."

The guy says, "Wwwell wwwhat is it, ddoc?"

The doctor says, "Well, it's your penis, it's about a foot long and all the
down pressure is putting strain on your vocal cords..."

The guy says, "Wwwat cccan we ddo?"

The doctor advises, "Well, I can cut it off and transplant a shorter one."

The guy says, "Dddeal.....Dddo it!"

The guy has the operation and six weeks later, he comes back into the
doctor's office and says, "Doc, you solved the problem and I don't stutter
anymore, but I've only had sex once in the past three weeks. My wife
doesn't like it anymore. She liked it with my long one. I don't care if I
have to stutter, I want you to put my long one back on"


The doctor says, "P p p piss o o o off. A ddddeal's a dddeal.



Source/Fonte: Received by email
Image/Imagem: Google Images
Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)

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quarta-feira, 25 de fevereiro de 2015

Argument about Sex

A Japanese couple are having an argument over ways of performing highly erotic sex:

Husband: "Sukitaki. mojitaka!"



Wife replies: "Kowanini! mowi janakpa!"

Husband says angrily: "Toka a anji rodi roumi yakoo!"

Wife on her knees literally begging
"Mimi nakoundinda tinkouji!"
Husband replies angrily:
"Na miaou kina Tim kouji!"

I can't believe you just sat and tried to read this -- as if you understand Japanese!
You'll read anything as long as it is about sex.
You need serious help. Sometimes I worry about you.

Source/Fonte: Received by email
Image/Imagem: Google Images
Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)

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terça-feira, 24 de fevereiro de 2015

Democracy and Racism Explained

DEMOCRACY AND RACISM EXPLAINED


 
A Muslim immigrant kid in any part of Australia asks his mother...

"Mama, what's the difference between Democracy and Racism?"

Mother (in Burkha)  - "Well, son, Democracy is when Australian tax payers
work hard every day so that we can get all our benefits..... you know,
like free housing, free health care, free education and grants to build mosques
and community centres, & so on & so forth, you know… that's a Democracy".

"But Mama, don't the Australian tax payers get angry about that?"

"Sure they do…. that's what we call Racism!"

Never more simply explained

Source/Fonte: Received by email
Image/Imagem: Google Images
Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)


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Blondes


I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the local shopping centre and rolled down the car windows to make sure
my Golden Retriever Pup had fresh air.

She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted
to impress upon her that she must remain there.
I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically,

"Now you stay. Do you hear me?"
"Stay! Stay!"

The driver of a nearby car, a pretty young blonde,
gave me a strange look and said,
"Why don't you just put it in 'Park'?"


Source/Fonte: Received by email
Image/Imagem: Google Images
Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)


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segunda-feira, 23 de fevereiro de 2015

Technology


Source/Fonte: Received by email
Is it your copyright? Please see here.

CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD


AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2011-11-27, 1:43 am. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled
the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives.  You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.  I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when
I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat
 Marine in Afghanistan. She had just bought me that Kimber
Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your pants. I'm sure it
was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. (That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again).
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of
what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That
made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the
windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning
President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution
is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path
you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,Semper fi,
Alex



Source/Fonte: Received by email
Image/Imagem: Google Images
Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)

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sábado, 21 de fevereiro de 2015

quinta-feira, 19 de fevereiro de 2015

quarta-feira, 18 de fevereiro de 2015

terça-feira, 17 de fevereiro de 2015

Other? Others? ou Another?

Como já é costume, domingão, fim de noite e eu corrigindo tarefas de meus aplicados alunos quando numa surge a dúvida..."Teacher, eu usei "others things", mas não tenho certeza se é isso ou se é "other thing".

Então, achei tempo para publicar a resolução aqui. Na verdade, o uso é bem simples. Let's go:

1) OTHER: (outro/a, outros/as) É usado como adjetivo e não acompanha o plural dos substantivos assim como os demais adjetivos em inglês.

- He was busier yesterday than the other day. (Ele estava mais ocupado ontem do que no outro dia.)
- This car is better than any other available. (Esse carro é melhor que quaisquer outros modelos.)
- She's been out all afternoon long and among other tasks, she has been to the bank. (Ela esteve fora a tarde toda e entre outras tarefas, foi ao banco.)

2) OTHERS: É um pronome, normalmente usado quando os interlocutores já mencionaram alguém (nome próprio ou nome pessoal) anteriormente, omitindo-se de repetir este "alguém" por mais de uma vez.

- Most of students have trouble in understanding "verb to be", but others (students) face this with no doubt (Alguns alunos tem dificuldade em entender o "verb to be", mas outros (alunos) encaram sem nenhuma dúvida.) [Nesse modelo, others são os outros alunos].
- I like apple juice and dislike others. (Eu gosto de suco de maça e não gosto dos outros.) [Ou seja, outros tipos de suco.]

4) ANOTHER: significa 'um outro', 'mais um' (também feminino) e está sempre no singular. Fica mais fácil se imaginarmos uma matemática somando AN e OTHER, assim: AN+OTHER. Por aí, já temos a idéia.

- This is another story! We're going to talk about it later on.  (Esta é uma outra história! Vamos falar disso mais tarde.)
- I'm not used to this kind of party. Let's look for another. (Não estou acostumado a esse tipo de festa. Vamos procurar uma outra.)

Ahhh...Notas:
1) Other ou Another podem ser usados na mesma situação na maioria dos casos.

2) Não confunda com "other's", que se refere ao genitive case, ok?

Agora, que tal praticar com exercícios? Dá uma olhadinha aqui.

That's all, folks!



Source/Fonte: Received by email
Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)


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Exercises: Other? Others? ou Another?

Então pessoal....façam o exercício abaixo, é rápido...Vocês podem tanto imprimir ou copiar para um documento Word, até eu aprender como fazer aqui mesmo no blog...rsrsrs

Depois, vejam as respostas aqui.
Boa sorte!
  • They’ve lost the key to open the door, they’ll need __________ to get in.
  • Mike, Sully and Ted will attend the meeting with the __________ guy tomorrow.
  • I know that it’s your uncle, but who is the __________ man with him?
  • Whitney is hanging out with __________ guy, but she still loves her boyfriend…Strange!
  • Let’s stop playing! We’ve been playing for hours and I can’t get __________ minute!
  • The staff isn’t complete…we need __________ manager for the IT area.
  • I haven’t liked the Ford cars…Could you give me __________ option?
  • Some people like to eat meat and chicken and ___________ are vegetarian.
Ou, se sobrou alguma dúvida, entre em contato clicando aqui.

Abraxxx e até a próxima!

sábado, 14 de fevereiro de 2015

Valentine's Day

Poisintão...Assim que é!

De repente, olho no calendário e vejo que é 14/02, Valentine's Day...ou, dia dos namorados, nos EUA.

Rapidamente, a origem do feriado é devida à Lupercalia, uma festa romana que se realizava todo dia 14/02.
A festa homenageava Juno, deusa romana das mulheres e do casamento e Pã, deus da Natureza...



Below, what Americans do on this holiday! Enjoy it!


Valentine's Day in United States
Valentine's Day is celebrated on February 14. It is a festival of romantic love and many people give cards, letters, flowers or presents to their spouse or partner. They may also arrange a romantic meal in a restaurant or night in a hotel. Common symbols of Valentine's Day are hearts, red roses and Cupid.

What do people do?
Many people celebrate their love for their partner by sending cards or letters, giving gifts or flowers and arranging meals in restaurants or romantic nights in hotels. People who would like to have a romantic relationship with somebody may use the occasion to make this known, often anonymously. Valentine's cards are often decorated with images of hearts, red roses or Cupid. Common Valentine's Day gifts are flowers chocolates, candy, lingerie and champagne or sparkling wine. However, some people use the occasion to present lavish gifts, such as jewelry. Many restaurants and hotels have special offers at this time. These can include romantic meals or weekend breaks.
Public life
Valentine's Day is not a public holiday. Government offices, stores, schools and other organizations are open as usual. Public transit systems run on their regular schedule. Restaurants may be busier than usual as many people go out for an evening with their spouse or partner. Valentine's Day is also a very popular date for weddings.
Background
There are a number of Saints called Valentine who are honored on February 14. The day became associated with romantic love in the Middle Ages in England. This may have followed on from the Pagan fertility festivals that were held all over Europe as the winter came to an end. Traditionally, lovers exchanged hand written notes. Commercial cards became available in the mid nineteenth century.

Symbols




The most common Valentine's Day symbols are the heart, particularly in reds and pinks, and pictures or models of Cupid. Cupid is usually portrayed as a small winged figure with a bow and arrow. In mythology, he uses his arrow to strike the hearts of people. People who have fallen in love are sometimes said to be 'struck by Cupid's arrow. Other symbols of Valentine's Day are couples in loving embraces and the gifts of flowers, chocolate, red roses and lingerie that couples often give each other.

http://www.timeanddate.com/holidays/us/valentine-day


Source/Fonte: Received by email
Image/Imagem: Google Images
Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)

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quarta-feira, 11 de fevereiro de 2015

Possessive Adjective Exercises

Então, vamos aos exercícios! Você pode imprimir ou copiar no Word para fazê-los e conferir aqui seus acertos.
  • Ex.: The dog eats its (it) food.
  • Where is _____________________(I) book?
  • Peter is ____________________ (we) teacher.
  • She goes to school with __________________ (she) brother.
  • ____________________(they) father works in a car factory.
  • ____________________(he) laptop is very expensive.
  • ___________________(I) husband and I want to go to Paris.
  • We want to see _________________(it) historical monuments.
  • Leila likes __________________(you) dog! Do you want to sell it?
  • _____________________(he) name is Bob.
  • (Two students) don’t want to do _______________ homework.
  • (I) have a car. ____________ color is black.
  • We have a (dog) and ______________ name is Pancho.
  • (Nancy) is from England and ______________ husband is from Sweden.
  • (Fred and Nadia) go to school with _________________ little son every day.
  • (Mr. Blork) has a van. _____________ van is very old.
  • (Louis) goes to a good high school. _______________ high school is fantastic!
  • (I) like singing. ____________ mother sings with me.
  • (François and Alan) are Frenchmen. _________________ family is from France.
  • (Mary) loves ________________ grandmother.
  • Where are (Peter´s friends) from? Are ______________ friends from Canada?
  • (Peggy) sent us a postcard from _______________ trip to Austria.
  • (She) lives in Australia with ________________ cousin.
  • (Ralph’s wife) works with _______________ brother in a bakery downtown.
  • (Mike) goes to _______________ English classes in the morning.
  • (Sally and Susan) love __________ daughters and go to the park on weekend together.
  • (This) is a great school and ______________ courses are very cool and efficient!

Possessive Adjectives

Poisintão...Assim que é!

Falando em pronomes, estudantes sempre tem grande confusão quando deve-se usar He, His, Him ou Himself.
Nessa postagem, vou falar dos Possessive Adjectives, ou Adjetivos Possessivos.

Como o nome já diz, são Adjetivos e assim, não tem uma ação na sentença, como os Personal Pronouns (veja aqui) que tem a ação, pois são os Sujeitos de uma ação.



my - meu, minha, meus, minhas
your - seu, sua, seus, suas, teu, tua, teus, tuas, vosso, vossa, vossos, vossas
his - seu, sua, seus, suas (dele)
her - seu, sua, seus, suas (dela)
its - seu, sua, seus, suas (dele ou dela, para objetos, animais, etc)
our - nosso, nossa, nossos, nossas
your - seu, sua, seus, suas, teu, tua, teus, tuas, vosso, vossa, vossos, vossas
their - seu, sua, seus, suas (deles, delas)

Então vejamos:
Na frase "Ele fala inglês com seu pai", temos "he" e "his" e é onde a confusão começa...ou acaba! se você prestar atenção no seguinte:
Um adjetivo (adjective) dá uma qualidade ou característica à uma pessoa ou coisa, que por sua vez é um substantivo (noun).
Assim, "Ele fala", não compreende nem adjetivo, nem substantivo, eliminando a possibilidade de usar um Possessive Adjective. Nos sobra "seu pai", onde 'pai' é o substantivo (pessoa) e 'seu' é o adjetivo (característica).
Portanto, entendemos que a frase fica "He speaks English with his father."
Simples assim! Entendeu?
Então agora passe para os exercícios, clicando aqui.
Havendo dúvidas, deixe seu comentário!

Abraço e até a próxima!

sábado, 7 de fevereiro de 2015

O "S" em He, She, It...

Qual a origem do "s" quando usamos a 3ª pessoa do singular? Por quê é  "He plays" e "I play"?

Bem, um aluno me fez essa pergunta e pesquisei algumas fontes e acabei chegando no Quora.com, numa reportagem de Larissa Gilotti (veja aqui), que trouxe a seguinte informação:

É uma explicação simplificada da filologia da Língua Inglesa:

No Inglês Arcáico certas classes de verbos eram conjugadas na terceira pessoa do singular com as terminações  -þ, -eþ, -aþ (pronunciadas com os sons de 'th', 'eth', 'ath', respectivamente).
Então, por exemplo, o verbo do Inglês Arcáico 'lufian' (to love) era conjugado 'heo lufaþ' (she loves); o verbo 'werian' (to defend) era conjugado 'he wereþ' (he defends).

No Inglês Medieval, a terminação 'eþ'/'aþ' virava 'eth',, como em (e talvez mais familiar) 'she luveth' e 'he defendeth' (mas leve em consideração que no Inglês Medieval haviam muitos dialetos e portanto, muitas formas diferentes de dizer 'she loves'e 'he defends' entre 1066 ~ 1485). 

À medida que o Inglês Medieval evoluiu e era usado em diferentes áreas da Inglterra nos últimos anos da Idade Média, essa terminação verbal tornou-se 'es'. Sendo assim, esses verbos eram conjugados 'she luves' (que se pronuncia 'shay loov-ess') e 'he defendes' (que se pronuncia 'hay deaf-end-ess').
A Língua Inglesa continuou evoluindo e agora ficamos com o 's' na conjugação da terceira pessoa do singular! Ou seja, como todos nós conhecemos, 'she loves' e 'he defends.'

Nota: Tenho que agradecer ao Moises Maciel pela pergunta que originou essa postagem!

Fonte: Quora
Imagem: Google Images
Tradução: Eu, oras!

Tem alguma sugestão, pergunta ou fato interessante? Entre em contato clicando aqui.